Through Fresh Eyes: My First Experience with YOU ARE in Uganda

On our last flight of the journey home from Uganda I finally had a window seat. I watched as we got further and further from the ground. I felt the climb in my gut. As we entered the clouds everything turned to static outside and my stomach continued its acrobatics. I am so uncomfortable, I thought to myself. My butt hurt from days spent in airplane seats and I was already thinking about the shower I was going to take later.

Then I remembered my tendency to struggle to stay present when stuck in discomfort. I thought back to my flight ten days prior as I set off on this journey to a country vastly different from my own and the mantra I committed to for the trip: I rarely grow when I feel comfortable. 

And then we left the cloud bank and the sun was shining and the clouds looked like they would catch me if I leapt into them. The only thing I could think at that moment was, is it always this gorgeous up here? 

The periods of extreme instability in my life have been my most uncomfortable yet my most rewarding. Sometimes making it through the static and the stomach churning helps you to see things clearly. Discomfort encourages us to move–it is a catalyst for change. Once we embrace it, we bloom. And once we bloom, we can share our blossoms with others.

One of my favorite things about the Ugandan people is how they are never in a rush. You can see it sprinkled throughout so many different aspects of life there. Take greetings, for example. It was common to be met with a hug, but where in the U.S. it's typically a quick, one-sided affair, these hugs are drawn out. During the first hug I received I moved to pull away, but found myself drawn back to their other shoulder. When shaking someone’s hand I learned you switch your grasp in the middle of it before going back to a “normal” handhold. Greetings are so overlooked in my world.

In Uganda, everyone I met was silently communicating, Slow down. Be here, with me, now. I was present in a way I have not felt in a long time. Maybe it was the fresh air or the lack of cell service. Maybe it was the red of the dirt or the sounds of the village at night. Maybe it was the chins on shoulders and the feel of my palm against another’s. Whatever it was, my feet were on the ground and my mind was there with them. 

Seeing the girls was the most highly anticipated part of the trip. They are the spirit of YOU ARE and all the work Jess and her team do. I have to admit, I was a little bit nervous. But meeting the girls was just like meeting everyone else in Uganda: warm and welcoming. Every girl opened her arms and met me as if they’d been expecting me for years. It’s how they greet everyone. A hug, a smile, a clasping of hands.

When we went and visited the secondary girls at their school, we walked to a more open area where we could sit and have a snack. On our way over I felt something brush my hand, and I looked down to see one of the girls asking to hold it. I felt a grand sense of clarity in that moment. There we were, two girls who had just met, with backgrounds that couldn’t be more different, but we both knew the importance of holding onto someone else. We might not have shared a language or a culture, but for that moment, we shared the space between our palms and we moved alongside each other. We were all just girls trying to make our way in the world. I felt a profound sense of sisterhood. I understood why Jess felt called to this place and these women. It clicked for me why YOU ARE exists. To nurture these sparks that so often get snuffed out.

It was impossible to see the girls' smiles and hear their laughs, to listen to their dreams and their prayers, to witness their humility, and not want to do everything in my power to give them a fighting chance in this world. They are lightning, these girls. I wish I could embed how it felt to watch them dance and sing and play into these words. I wish I could bottle it up and use it as ink. There was so much life in this place. My heart is still reeling with it. My arms are full of it. I hope to carry just an ounce of it into my future endeavors. I hope I left them with some blossoms the way they bestowed them on me. 

The humility and selflessness with which the Ugandan people live is incomparable to any other place I’ve been. It is common for families to take in abandoned children as their own, and people were always bringing each other things from the city or helping with gardening. The villages move as one–the women walk together with crops and supplies, the children help each other carry water.

People like Grace, Jeremiah, Denis, Aidah, and Jackson dedicate their lives to helping support their communities. No matter who you talk to, there is never any complaining. There is only gratitude for what they have. There is only the spilling over of this gratitude onto others. It is reflected in what Jess and her team have built with YOU ARE. They emphasize empowerment and using one another as ways to uplift. They provide physical resources and support just as much as mental and emotional support.

Jess’s love, Grace’s love, Dennis’s love–it has all overflown from within them to build this beautiful support system. They recognized the limitations of circumstance and the power of potential nurtured. Who is worthy of time, love, and education? Who is allowed to dream? You Are. 

Jessica Upchurch-King is such a force. Aside from being one of the most driven and hard working people I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing, she also took my request to visit Uganda with her seriously. Not everyone would agree to take someone they’ve known for less than a year to another country. How lucky was I to get a firsthand look at YOU ARE’s homeland? It took about one day of being in the country to realize that this was not just work or Jess’s passion project. No–this was Jess herself. I was being shown a piece of her soul. It was like a fire had been lit within her and you could see it flash every so often behind her eyes.

I was seeing Uganda as me, yes, but I was also seeing it as Jess in a way. I saw the unencumbered embraces from all the lives she has touched.

I loved Jeremiah, her long time friend, because it was impossible not to, but also because Jess’s love for him poured out of her.

I loved Grace because of how selflessly she cares for all the women she supports, but I loved her even more when I saw how clearly she and Jess see each other.

I loved the girls and their bright smiles and unrestrained laughter because they are so easy to love, but I loved them even more when I saw how tightly they clung to Jess and how tightly she held them back.

To Jess, because I know you will be the first to read this, I am so grateful that you trusted me enough to bring me on this trip, but I am even more, indescribably grateful to have seen the love with which you greet the world. Of all the things I will take from Uganda, getting to see it by your side is something I will hold dear to my heart forever.